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March 07, 2011

It’s Kind of Like This

Monday came along {though now it’s almost gone}.  I had planned a little light-hearted post.  You see, I’ve spent some time the last week visiting over 200 blogs of wonderful girls & women who have participated in a blog party…and I was going to share some reflections.  I didn’t get it done last night before bed, so I was going to do it this morning.  Then I woke up and my heart has felt like this.ScrapedHeart

I woke up to the news that a friend had passed away suddenly overnight.  She wasn’t a close friend…yet.  But my heart had yearned to know hers better.  We had so far formed what could probably be described more as a “friendly acquaintance”.   I met her through her 2 incredible daughters, who have been very active in our youth group.  We normally sat next to or near each other in worship on Sundays…when neither one of us was kept home by nagging chronic issues.  So I’m mad that I let one of those annoying chronic health issues keep me from church yesterday.  She wasn’t feeling well either, but she was there. I wish I had given her one more hug, seen her brilliant smile one more time, worked harder at getting to know her better.  I’m sad that our last words with each other were by text – and too long ago, rather than face to face.  I’m aching that her beautiful children are missing their mother…her husband his wife, etc.

The thing is, J’s passing has left me with some regrets {and needful of & thankful for God’s mercy and grace}.  I took too long to love her better.  I wanted to…I intended to…I tried to, but not often or hard enough.  I know that she is receiving glorious perfect love now, and has been released from the hard things of this life.  But I also know there has been a tremendous lesson in this for me.  I’ve let “when I have time”, “when I feel better”, “when I get this problem solved” get in the way too often.  I want to be able to pray for the strength to set those things aside more often…and just LOVE!
We, though, are going to love – love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love.  He loved us first.
1 John 4:19 (The Message)

Have a Beautiful Day {especially if it's Crazy}!